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The Meth Minute 39
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The Ancient Ones of Kyuuth
from left: Mmitch, Sallee, and Normun
Our Man In Kelv
A couple years ago I went traveling around the Eastern European nation of Kelv. I kept my friends back home updated on the weirdness that I encountered by way of my Facebook status updates. It’s time everyone else got to read them. They’re all 100% true.
In 1983, the movie “Tron” was released to Kelvic theatres and it took the nation by storm. People stood in line for days to see it. It also inspired many cheap domestic knock-offs like this comic book, “Gr’ekesz Nyef” which translates roughly to “Grid Knight”
In a week from now, I’ll be re-assigned to The Laszlo Project;
a highly-classified espionage network involving coordinates located in southern Florida and Kelv (and elsewhere)
That’s all I can say about it right now.
Tonight I’ll be speaking about Kelv.
If you are interested in hearing more about this mysterious nation of my mind,
come and also enjoy readings by Ryan Van Winkle and Erica Moroz.
@ Zora Space
315 4th Avenue near 3rd street in Brooklyn.
6:30 pm
»Map
Kelv’s team was eliminated very early from the World Cup.
In their first World Cup match against Belgium, team captain Grügn Kagkk stabbed an opponent with a dagger. When the referee gave him a red card, Kagkk stabbed him as well. As he was led off the field by police he remarked “You are giving me red card, I am now give you red blood stab.”
Kelv lost every game after that. Most of the players disappeared within a week of returning home in defeat.
A few years ago, I painted this mural in a hallway of my friends Scottish cafe, The Forest. I had just flown back from my second voyage to Kelv and was trying to communicate the things I saw there.
G.P.O.A.K.U.A.T.
Gratuitous Picture of Ancient Kelvic Underwear Advertisement Thursday
Hungary
When I was at my grandparents apartment last month I found this etching I made for them a few years ago. It’s important to mess around with all kinds of mediums and techniques.
Oh and yes.. it does kinda look like Kelv.
Bkriîavka Fegnechn
Bladovak, Kelv
In 1993, this office building was constructed in Kelv’s capital as headquarters for the nation’s leading sulphur corporation, Fegnechn Sél’fhnk LGK.
It was designed in the shape of an F, not only as a tribute to the name of the company, but as a way of say “F**k You” to any international regulations on environmental standards. They were the world’s leading polluter, until the company dissolved overnight in 2005. The building is currently unoccupied.
(Did you find this at all interesting? Read more about Kelv here!)
